Reframing Selfish

Have you ever thought it selfish to put yourself first? To take a day off to rest, to go for a long walk, or to spend hours painting, writing, or simply being alone.

Perhaps this is an idea you absorbed from someone else, perhaps you heard it as you were growing up, or maybe you heard that little voice in your head, saying it to yourself, questioning whether taking time and putting yourself first was indulgent, unnecessary, or even wrong.

If that sounds familiar and you are nodding your head in agreement, I want to challenge that mindset and suggest a re-frame.

Selfish ≠ Self-ist

There’s a difference between being selfish and being what I like to call self-ist.

• Selfish : taking at the expense of others. It leaves you full, while others go empty.

• Self-ist : prioritizing your own well-being so you can show up fully for your life, your work, and your creativity. It refills your well so you can pour from it without guilt.

Taking time for yourself isn’t indulgent. I would suggest it’s essential. But it’s surprisingly radical in a world that glorifies busyness and constant productivity.

Why Taking Time for Yourself Matters

When you allow yourself quiet, reflective, or creative solo time, something remarkable happens:

1. Your mind slows. The constant background chatter slows down. Thoughts untangle. You see connections you couldn’t notice in the rush.

2. Creativity awakens. Ideas don’t arrive when you’re sprinting from task to task. They arrive when you pause, wander, and allow curiosity to lead.

3. Energy replenishes. Your nervous system relaxes. Your body and mind recharge. You return to work, relationships, and life with more patience and presence.

4. Joy returns. There’s a subtle delight in choosing yourself without guilt — and it’s contagious.

The Creative Case for Solo Time

As someone who regularly gives myself time to be creative and in fact, am just on the verge of my second solo art retreat to Cornwall, I can say with certainty, creativity flourishes when you take time alone. Not because of forced effort or pressure, but because of the spaciousness.

The space is where ideas grow. Where experimentation happens. Where play and curiosity feel safe.

When you finally let yourself be self-ist, you are giving your creativity permission to exist. And that ripples outward, making everything you share more alive, thoughtful, and inspired.

How to Be Self-ist Without Guilt

• Name it: Call it self-ist instead of selfish. Reframe it as essential nourishment, not indulgence.

• Start small: Even 30–60 minutes alone can make a difference.

• Remove distractions: Silence notifications, put your phone down, let yourself focus.

• Follow curiosity: Sketch, write, walk, swim, do whatever feeds you. No outcomes required.

• Reflect afterward: Journalling or sketching your thoughts helps integrate the experience.

  
  

A Gentle Reminder

We live in a world that sometimes mislabels self-care as selfishness. But taking time for yourself is not a withdrawal from life, it’s an active, intentional investment in it.

So let’s all re-frame selfish. Let’s celebrate SELF-IST behaviour. Let’s prioritize the moments and activities that refill our wells, awaken our creativity, and remind us that we are worth the time we give ourselves.

Wish me luck while I'm away. I'm hoping I can keep this mindset alive during my own creative retreat. I have already thought about my journal prompts and I will be thinking about what I want my time to feel like, what I want to take with me and what I want to leave behind.

What would your journal prompts be? Drop me a comment and let me know.